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Relationship and Psychology
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Pros and cons of dating a younger man
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When he won't introduce you to his family
The best gift for your partner this Christmas
How to make a holiday romance last
Relationships: Great Expectations
Why nobody wins at emotional games
Facebook etiquette: dos and dont's
The Tao of Relationships: role reversal
The relationship comfort zone
Does love ever hurt?
The Tao of relationships: sanctuary
The rules of engagement
How to live with a controlling partner
Decoding body language
Be the hostess with the mostest
Comfortable or lazy?
All in an Ice cream Spoon
Do you have trust issues?
The Tao of Relationships: Facing the inevitable
Relationships: Great Expectations
Anthony Rockliffe discusses the expectations we place on relationships, and whether this is fair to our partners.....

How many good relationships have gone the way of the dodo because someone’s expectations were not met?

How fair is that? Is it right to have expectations of others, especially significant others? I say no. Most of the arguments I hear about from married friends usually centre on an expectation that wasn’t met.

It is okay to have desires, but when those desires become expectations we are heading for trouble

Should you expect the toilet seat to be put back down? Or the toothpaste cap to be replaced? Should you expect a sms or a bunch of flowers? You may, but at your own peril.

We all live in different worlds, my reality is different from yours, and your significant other’s is different from yours; when you have a desire, you simply wish their reality was more like yours, when that becomes an expectation then you demand that their reality becomes more like yours. And that is purely selfish.

Now we find ourselves right back at the beginning again. If you are in a relationship where your realities are so different and your expectations are not being met, then how did you get there?

Even if it was ok to have expectations, you have to either go into a relationship super fast or with your eyes closed in order to wake up one day and think “What have I managed to get myself into?” The quickest route to relationship bliss is the longest one.

By keeping it at the level of growing friendship you can get to honestly experience the other person and the way they deal with reality, and if you don’t like it then at least you have a friend. Of course the easiest way would be to keep your desires as “would be nice” not “have to have” and you will be free to enjoy all the good of the relationship and weather the bad a lot easier.

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