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Relationship and Psychology
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When he won't introduce you to his family
The best gift for your partner this Christmas
How to make a holiday romance last
Relationships: Great Expectations
Why nobody wins at emotional games
Facebook etiquette: dos and dont's
The Tao of Relationships: role reversal
The relationship comfort zone
Does love ever hurt?
The Tao of relationships: sanctuary
The rules of engagement
How to live with a controlling partner
Decoding body language
Be the hostess with the mostest
Comfortable or lazy?
All in an Ice cream Spoon
Do you have trust issues?
The Tao of Relationships: Facing the inevitable
Why nobody wins at emotional games
Whenever we begin a new relationship, there appear to be certain games that many people play, consciously or unconsciously and it can be maddening for both parties.

Games such as mind control, power dynamics, possessiveness and tit-for-tat are all dangerous games that could result in you playing all alone when your partner has had enough.

Games should be kept to the playground

I reached for the dictionary for the definition of games:

‘Games (noun): a competitive form of activity with rules. An enjoyable activity which children play.’

Armed with this trusty knowledge, it is safe to assume that when one plays emotional games with another, it flies in the face of the true meaning of games.

Emotional games have no rules; are not enjoyable and in most cases, nobody comes out the winner.

The gamble doesn’t always pay off

My mother has always told me not to play games with people’s hearts and to do unto others as I would have them do to me. I always thought it was part of her list of annoying cliches along with “Well, life isn’t fair.” So it was a surprise to find myself having an 'ah ha' moment.

The scene: in bed on a Sunday evening after a blissful date. The problem: my 'uhm friend's' Facebook status. It so turns out that the problem was not what I was seeing on Facebook but rather my reaction towards it.

My initial thoughts veered towards changing my profile picture and updating my status with a similar remark about somebody else.

However, as I began typing my brilliantly thought out status update I realised that participating in this tit-for-tat game was a sign that I was willing to entertain it.

Combat playing games with communication

Communicating and allowing yourself to become vulnerable with a partner isn’t always easy because we’re so often concerned with our own self-protection we end up sabotaging the real potential of the relationship and the feelings in front of us.

We’re so concerned about possibly being hurt that we deny the other possibility of a reality in which we’re happy.

Being open and honest however allows for the relationship to grow and puts an end to unnecessary games that result in one or both of you getting hurt. Playing tit-for-tat will only lead to more of the same thing.

Real life and real feelings usually get in the way of happy endings

If game playing always ended the way Hollywood scriptwriters would like it, the romantic lead in every woman’s life would realise that she is his ideal match and would arrange a flash mob to impress her before declaring his undying devotion in a crowded shopping centre.

You may not necessarily want him to profess his unfailing love for you just yet but just like a Hollywood script, you desire the happy ending.

Some of us will dabble in emotional games with men whether it is blackmail, trying to make them jealous, or simply not answering our phones when they call. All of which are unnecessary.

Durban clinical psychologist, Sherona Rawat says that “something that looks good in the movies usually gets complicated when you don’t have actors in the lead roles”.

Keep it simple, stupid

Whether you’re in the process of starting a relationship or you are currently in one, your intentions and lines of communication should be clear. People start playing games when they feel insecure; which doesn't solve anything.

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Love in the time of texting
Is he into you?
10 benefits of marriage counselling
How to get through a break up
Relationships: say it how you want it
How to tell if someone is lying
He cheated: keep him or dump him?
Let him love you
Love lines: the emotional rollercoaster
Dating after divorce as a single mom
How to stop being taken advantage of
Love Lines: Still sleeping with ex!
Relationships: when to turn a blind eye
Living together: a dry run for marriage?
Love Lines: forbidden Love - the younger man
Pay attention to negative feelings
Stop domestic violence
How to survive long distance
Trusting again after being cheated on
Is three a crowd? Relationships and children
How to find a man who won't cheat
Love Lines: can this marriage be saved?
How to end an emotional affair
Make new friends in 30 minutes
Your relationship after illness
The 10 biggest turn-offs: are you guilty?
Legal implications of living together
Lovelines: emotionally distant husband
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Dealing with gossip
When your boyfriend's a mommy's boy...
Who gets the friends in a breakup?
Is he the one? Choosing Mr. Right
Losing touch in a technological world
How to make every day Valentine’s Day
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I love to be single
On hooking up with your ex
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Should you marry him?
How to compile your family tree
Love Lines: relationship advice for readers
Can men and women be just friends?
The benefits of having male friends
How to become a better listener
Emotional affairs: another form of cheating?
Is it ever ok to be the other woman?
Losing your guy to SuperSport
Dating an older man
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