We all need a safe place, a place to belong, a place where we can be totally free to be totally ourselves. A committed relationship should be that place.
I hear about relationships that are not that safe place all too often, and let me tell you, they are not happy places.
Imagine feeling like you had to behave a certain way and meet certain expectations whenever you came home, or spent time with your SO (significant other)? It’s a one way road to resentment and resentment is the assassin of relationships.
So which one are you: the “resenter” or the resented?
Do you feel free to be your “warts and all” self in your relationship, or have you made your relationship a living hell for the other?
Let’s face it, we do the best we can with what we have and we live what we learn, so take a look in the mirror and see if you like what you see.
The big question is, “If I am just myself, will I still be accepted?”
Or, “If I allow my partner to just be themselves, will I like what I am left with?”
If you discover that the answer to the first question is no, then it is time for a change of relationship.
If you discover the answer is no to the second, then you need to do some soul searching.
I adopted the attitude that “If she has to accept me for who I am, then I have to accept her for who she is. And I know that at least one of us isn’t perfect.”
I tell you what though; making my relationship with my wife a safe place for her has paid huge dividends, and what’s more, when someone can relax and just be themselves with you, they will make it so for you as well.