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Relationship and Psychology
No more drama!
Relationships: importance of courtship
Once a cheater, always a cheater?
Temporary marriage: answer or cop out?
Pros and cons of dating a younger man
Talk to your ex – for the children’s sake!
When he won't introduce you to his family
The best gift for your partner this Christmas
How to make a holiday romance last
Relationships: Great Expectations
Why nobody wins at emotional games
Facebook etiquette: dos and dont's
The Tao of Relationships: role reversal
The relationship comfort zone
Does love ever hurt?
The Tao of relationships: sanctuary
The rules of engagement
How to live with a controlling partner
Decoding body language
Be the hostess with the mostest
Comfortable or lazy?
All in an Ice cream Spoon
Do you have trust issues?
The Tao of Relationships: Facing the inevitable
Relationships: repeating your mistakes?
You CAN avoid repeating the mistakes you made in your last relationship: you just need to examine and change your relationship paradigms.

How many times have you sat sobbing into your tissues, wondering what you did wrong, and how you could have been so stupid? I know that we’ve all been there more than once, searching for that elusive relationship, looking for the magical one, your “Mr Right”.

From birth we are brought up to live from the outside in

Everything we are and everything we feel is programmed into us through our five senses; sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. The environment in which we grow up, conditions us, creates our paradigms [habits], our paradigms create our behaviours and our behaviours give us our results.

Why do we repeat mistakes in relationships?

Have you ever wondered why someone who comes from an abusive home often finds that they end up in abusive relationships?
It’s their paradigm, their norm, to them, that’s how relationships are supposed to be. The same often occurs in the case of parents with partners who are unfaithful, and you wonder, why do you always meet men that cheat?

Then you start to generalise that all men are the same, but that’s not the case, you just keep attracting the same type of men to you that match your paradigm.

Examine what went wrong in your last relationship

Do you know what your relationship paradigms and behaviours are; do you know what you are thinking about all the time when it comes to relationships?

Look at the result of your last relationship, what went wrong, who did what, whose behaviour caused what reaction and you will begin to identify the cycle of actions that started the rot, and contributed to not only that relationship, but many of your other relationships failing.

Don’t carry baggage into new relationships

When you look at these paradigms, look at them in the context of how they impacted on your last partner, what were his paradigms, the no go areas between you both? The older we are in the dating game, the more important it is to really understand where we’re coming from.

Post 30 we have scars, bad experiences and baggage, and it’s essential that we don’t keep carrying this over and over into new relationships.

You can change your paradigms, even if they’re entrenched in you from your childhood

You can design new paradigms, behaviours that serve you in a far more positive way going into your next relationship. Take some time to sit and think about all your positive attributes, everything that is good about you and write them down in a list on the left hand side of a piece of paper.

Then on the right hand side write down all the bad attributes you have, the negative behaviours that have caused you to attract the wrong partner for you. It doesn’t matter how many you have on your list, just write them all down.

When you have finished cut the piece of paper in half and burn the piece with all the negative and bad attributes written on it, watch all that negativity go up in flames, it is so cathartic.

Don’t forget your positive attributes

After doing this take some time to review your positive attributes, are there any that you might like to add? Add them all on to your list until you can’t think of anymore.

Then take a fresh piece of paper and write the following;

I am so happy and grateful now that I am; and write down all the attributes you want to have that you can connect with, that you can feel deep inside. When you have written them all down read that piece of paper. Read it every day, because they are your thoughts.

Reading them every day elicits a feeling from you, this feeling causes an action and in turn, your actions cause results - different results because you’re changing your paradigms. Try it; you’ll be amazed at the outcome.

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Love in the time of texting
Is he into you?
10 benefits of marriage counselling
How to get through a break up
Relationships: say it how you want it
How to tell if someone is lying
He cheated: keep him or dump him?
Let him love you
Love lines: the emotional rollercoaster
Dating after divorce as a single mom
How to stop being taken advantage of
Love Lines: Still sleeping with ex!
Relationships: when to turn a blind eye
Living together: a dry run for marriage?
Love Lines: forbidden Love - the younger man
Pay attention to negative feelings
Stop domestic violence
How to survive long distance
Trusting again after being cheated on
Is three a crowd? Relationships and children
How to find a man who won't cheat
Love Lines: can this marriage be saved?
How to end an emotional affair
Make new friends in 30 minutes
Your relationship after illness
The 10 biggest turn-offs: are you guilty?
Legal implications of living together
Lovelines: emotionally distant husband
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Men really ARE from Mars - survey
Dealing with gossip
When your boyfriend's a mommy's boy...
Who gets the friends in a breakup?
Is he the one? Choosing Mr. Right
Losing touch in a technological world
How to make every day Valentine’s Day
Relationships: repeating your mistakes?
Relationships: acknowledging your part
Dr. Demartini on Valentine's Day pressures
What is emotional abuse?
I love to be single
On hooking up with your ex
Flirting’s effect on your body
Should you marry him?
How to compile your family tree
Love Lines: relationship advice for readers
Can men and women be just friends?
The benefits of having male friends
How to become a better listener
Emotional affairs: another form of cheating?
Is it ever ok to be the other woman?
Losing your guy to SuperSport
Dating an older man
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