This new era in which we find ourselves can be called Love in the time of Texting. But Yethu Mtshali believes instant messaging, BBMs and texting is making it more and more difficult to read how someone REALLY feels about you.
“So has he called yet?” My best friend still insists on asking, despite the fact that I chat to him on BBM almost every day!
I wonder if he should call though. That’s what guys are meant to do when they like you. Call, right? Between BBM, WhatsApp and Facebook it’s becoming more difficult to read the opposite sex.
While in the literal sense, there’s a considerable amount of “reading” involved; when it comes to text, I feel like I can’t test the “How to tell if he’s into you” articles that I once studied so religiously.
We want more than virtual contact!
I’ve never been an expert on men. Any contact with the opposite sex that didn’t involve my right knee and some poor soul’s groin began in my senior years of high school.
You would think that my friends - who were receiving love-letters in grade seven while I was serving my hours in detention for beating up yet another boy - could shed more light on matters of attraction and communication. They did have a head-start after all.
But we’ve reached a kind of unspoken consensus when it comes to such matters. The truth is: we know nothing. I may be clueless about relationships, in the general sense of the word, but I do know what I want. And what I want is more. More effort, more clarity.
“Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”
Today, “effort” has been reduced to a phone call. Typing my name into a “find contact” tab; pressing the dial button and keeping a five minute conversation going without awkward silence is deemed EFFORT?
I’m clearly damned. The days of poetry and love-letters have long passed so what I would define as effort means stepping back a good ten years - a nonsensical request, I admit.
Slip me a note, for goodness’ sake
Or tell me something about yourself that you wouldn’t normally tell anyone else.
Showing off your best side is easy via social networks
After hours of chatting everyday, I should know a considerable deal about someone and vice versa. What I’m offered and consequently offer instead is a charming, lovable and warm version. We present our good sides and sometimes these sides are fabricated - perfect illusions.
While we go on about world politics, male domination, the perfect cafés, beaches and music on our never-ending chat sessions; not having a clue what to talk about when a guy is standing right in front of me makes a spoof of our relationship thus far.
Could it be that this world-changing ease of communication has in fact destroyed the art of communication? Talk about counterproductive. I may be a tad dramatic but I can imagine the extinction of communication as we know it. Its remains will be viewed in museums by future generations as what once was.
Communication has evolved
While I do appreciate the ease of access that comes with this particular evolution, I’m perplexed by the effect it has on modern relationships.
Men have always argued that it is difficult to give women what they want because we ourselves have a difficult time trying to establish what that is. Even with dozens of social networking sites and media, I doubt the answer lies in a witty one-liner on Facebook Chat.
The further we move from day-to-day live interaction and closer toward quick and easy, virtual relationships; the more likely we are to have our partners texting “WYMM?” as legitimate marriage proposals. And I’ll be damned!