Relationship and Psychology
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Is he into you – or not? Here’s how to spot the signs.....

It’s a question as old as old as the hills and one almost every woman has asked herself since the seventh grade when that really cute new boy made maths your favourite lesson: Does he like me and how do I know if he is attracted to me?”

We all use our bodies to speak for us, revealing even at times things we would prefer to keep hidden, such as our emotions, or... whether we are attracted to someone.

A whopping 90% of communication takes place through body language, which includes body movements, gestures, facial expressions, posture and voice intonation. That means less than 10% of what we communicate is in the words we use!

It is a subconscious medium of communication, and most of the time we don’t even realise the signals we are sending to others.

If you know what signs to look for, you can get an idea of whether or not someone is attracted to you, without the possibility of expressing your feelings and being rejected.

Body language is also used to make ourselves open to others whom we find attractive and afford them an opportunity to approach us, e.g. grinning like the Cheshire cat when we see that guy we like.

Let’s look at five signs which may reveal a man is attracted to you:

It’s in the eyes

The eyes are usually the first tools to signal attraction. When we see someone we like, we flash them with our eyebrows: our eyebrows rise, then quickly fall. If they feel the same way about us, they return the flash. We don’t even realise that we’re doing it, and the exchange lasts less than a second. This opens the face and makes the person look more friendly and approachable.

Along with an eyebrow flash, a man who is interested in you will stare at you a lot. Remember those romantic movies where the main male character first sets eyes on his love interest? The hidden message here is: “You are so attractive, I can’t take my eyes off you”.

Watch his body posture to see if he's into you

When we like someone, we always try and keep them in our line of vision. A man that is captivated by you will point his body in your direction. His feet, knees and torso will be facing you as best he can, and his back will rarely be towards you.

When he is closer to you, he will lean into your personal space or “accidentally” brush up against you, indicating that he would like to get closer to you.


People who like each other often tend to mimic one another when they are in conversation. They may tilt their heads in the same direction, cross their legs in the same way or lean in towards one another.

The same is true in body language. A guy that is interested in you will subconsciously copy your body posture. He is longing to be accepted by you, wants you to feel at ease with him, and is trying to bond with you.


Men and women often display preening behaviour in the presence of the person they are romantically interested in. A man may run his hands through his hair, fix a tie or pull up his socks. It’s a subconscious act of grooming to make himself look good for you.

He may also rub his chin with the back of his hand, or caress his leg or arm, demonstrating how he would like to stroke you, or where and how he would like to be touched.

On display

Everyone wants to look their best when they are in close proximity to the object of their affection. A man will do this with good posture, standing up straight to look taller, holding his stomach in and pushing their chest out, making himself appear larger than he is. Muscles may be pressed together to make arms look stronger.

He is trying to make his body look its best to you so that you will find him attractive.

A word of caution: although we all communicate using body language, what is accceptable in one culture may be offensive in another. For example, acceptable personal space and eye contact vary from culture to culture.

Body language may also vary from person to person or depend on the mood of the person at that time.

As a rule of thumb, observe your guy over a period of time and see how he interacts with other women, compared to how he behaves around you. Show you are interested and open with positive body language e.g. smiling and facing him with your body when he approaches you, and take it from there.

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