Are your insecurities preventing you from accepting the love of a good man?
He is ambitious. He is mature and emotionally stable. Look around: you donít find his kind around every corner. It gets better. He is respectful, keeps his word and has established balance in his own life while remaining supportive to you and your own dreams.
He seems like a great man; the kind any woman would want to be with. Now heís standing right in front of you and he wants to love you. So why on earth wonít you let him?
Do you feel unworthy of love?
Insecurities cheat us out of what we want, need, and sometimes deserve. Theyíre a part of our lives which we probably wouldnít be able to adequately address by reading through a self-help book - even if itís one of those best-selling ones.
A low self esteem may have resulted from previous disappointing relationships, your work situation, or it can go as far back as an incident in pre-school. It continues in its unhealthy downward spiral as you experience various situations in life which affirm your feelings of unworthiness.
Are you keeping your walls high and impenetrable?
Itís difficult for some to reveal who they really are to others. Itís always safer under our shells. But like the tortoise, it will take us ages to get where we want to be. Iím personally drawn to the power that keeping my feelings to myself gives me. That way Iím not vulnerable and I gain that sense of ďI-wonít-LET-you-hurt-me.Ē
At first glance it doesnít seem like a bad coping mechanism but when you start missing out on the finer things in life, some major revaluation is necessary.
Stop it, I like it!
Every now and then we meet people who make us look at life differently. Iím not even talking about the corny 'he lights up my life' stuff. Iím talking about a sense of stability. Itís the kind of harmony that youíve probably been seeking but have failed to find until now.
You enjoy being around him and you respect the person that he is. One side of you wants to hold onto him for dear life, but the idea that heís too good for you (and that you donít deserve a love like this) creeps in. Thatís when you push him away.
We all deserve to be loved
If the man in your life has proven himself deserving of your affection, you should let him love you. Even if you donít see it, there are things that draw people to you; attributes that this good man cannot resist.
He doesnít love you because he thinks youíre flawless. In fact, if love was a privilege reserved for those who have shown no record of imperfection, it wouldnít exist. One of the traits of a quality man is his ability to sense a quality woman. Youíre his quality woman.
Heís not perfect either
Itís important not to put him on a pedestal. He might hurt you himself at some point. We experience a kaleidoscope of emotions every day. Getting hurt is part of human relationships. Your parents, your siblings and your friends all have the power to hurt you. Sometimes they do it without selfish or harsh intent.
As much as it is important to love and be loved, you shouldnít give people the power to destroy you and your self esteem. Anyone can hurt you but not everyone has the power to completely uproot your life. Stop framing every relationship with feelings of inadequacy and doom and just let a good man give you some good loving.