Dating after divorce as a single mom is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was 29 when I got divorced and was with my ex until I was 31. It was hard to put myself out there to get to know someone after being with my ex-husband. I also had a little baby to take care of.
Meeting people and dating after divorce as a single mom was the last thing on my mind
Eventually I had to get back into the dating world, but it was very different, as this time around I had my son. But dating is supposed to be fun and, you're probably not going to meet anyone right for you, by sitting at home with your kids.
Single moms would love to be carefree and impulsive
But not at our children's expense. I know there are many wonderful men out there who do not have children and will accept someone else's children without a second thought, but that has not been my experience.
It seems that every time I think about dating a man who did not have children he either wasn't interested in having any kind of relationship with my son or he didn't understand my responsibilities as his parent.
The biggest challenge for me was how I would introduce the person to my son
How would I explain this to my then 3-year-old son? How would I let him know how I thought and felt about things.
Expectations ... expectations ... we all have them
Men with children understand your responsibilities to your kids, they understand if you have to leave in the middle of a weekend away because your child is sick, or the babysitter cancels, the 101 other reasons why your child needs to come first.
When to reveal you have a child?
When I meet someone, I never know whether or not to tell him I have a child straightaway or not. There's always the chance that he will turn and run immediately or even worse, wait until he has actually met my son and then disappear.
Taking it all in
I've been divorced for quite a while and it looks like it's going to be that way for a while longer. I'm ok with it, it's given me time to develop a relationship with my son that I wouldn't otherwise have, and all this dating has taught me what I really want in my next marriage.
Making a choice and dating after divorce as a single mom
You have to be open, get out into the world sometimes, and be willing to give some new things a try. No, it won't always be easy, but when it really works, you won't regret a single moment that it took to get there.
Remember these words
Marilyn Monroe said it best, “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” So get out there and relish dating after divorce!