Relationship and Psychology
No more drama!
Relationships: importance of courtship
Once a cheater, always a cheater?
Temporary marriage: answer or cop out?
Pros and cons of dating a younger man
Talk to your ex – for the children’s sake!
When he won't introduce you to his family
The best gift for your partner this Christmas
How to make a holiday romance last
Relationships: Great Expectations
Why nobody wins at emotional games
Facebook etiquette: dos and dont's
The Tao of Relationships: role reversal
The relationship comfort zone
Does love ever hurt?
The Tao of relationships: sanctuary
The rules of engagement
How to live with a controlling partner
Decoding body language
Be the hostess with the mostest
Comfortable or lazy?
All in an Ice cream Spoon
Do you have trust issues?
The Tao of Relationships: Facing the inevitable
Love Lines: Still sleeping with ex!
An anonymous reader wrote to me last week with a cry for help that I have seen so many times, so much so that I read an article where it has been suggested that Facebook has a relationships status ‘Still sleeping with my ex!”.....

I chose this letter in particular as it appears that more and more frequently couples are divorcing without getting good advice from a counsellor or a coach. Divorce is so traumatic - even if you want to reconcile there is just too much hurt to overcome.

The reader wrote:

“I have recently divorced my husband and moved out of our home. However, ever since the move, my ex has shown me so much attention, that I have had him stay over at my place already.

I somehow know deep inside of me, that it may all be an act, just until he gets me back into the comfort zone of loving him, and then he will start all his nonsense again. He has had numerous affairs and hates to discuss same, in order for me to heal. I have been through emotional and physical abuse, but I do still love him.

I don’t know what to do, because one part of me is telling me to hold on and the other part is saying it is time to let go! My family don’t understand what I am going through and it is hard for them to be objective at this time. Help me please...”
Infidelity is the primary cause of break-ups

I am conducting research on the reasons for infidelity this year. To date the biggest cause of a man’s infidelity is low self-esteem and self-worth. This underpins their need for flirtation, clandestine cell phone and email relationships and ultimately the physical affairs. The attention from another woman, who doesn’t know all his faults and failings the way his partner or wife does, makes him feel good about himself; it makes him feel masculine, worthy and fuels his ego.

Lest we forget, ladies, men do have a very real ego, and whilst infidelity is an absolute no-go area, it is a very real part of our daily lives. We read about it in magazines and newspapers, hear about it on the radio and watch news stories and programmes on TV where it is mentioned almost daily. Men in turn know that they have done wrong but their ego and guilt won’t allow them to admit it,

The current balance in society has never weighed more in our favour; women have more rights and opportunities than ever before. Quite right I hear you say, but is it in all aspects? I think not!
Our emancipation in many ways has come at the cost of our men’s emasculation

They have not been able to find balance between being the provider, head of household and the new found position of his partner or wife as an equal in the workplace.

Sometimes, ladies, we have to remember to leave the ball breaking in the office and in many ways remember to be the ‘lady’ at home. Some of us need to relearn how to love our men.

I hope that I get a lot of input from everyone who reads this article as it was my aim to be provocative in my content. I am being guided by the feelings of some of the most respectable men I know and love, together with more and more South African men daily.

I responded directly to the reader, with honesty and warmth, advising her to sit with her ex-husband and initiate real communication, to see if they can find some common ground, and a way forward. He must want to want to change his behaviour and it takes guts, determination and perseverance to do it. I advised her to make sure that she is sure that this is what she wants, before thinking of a more permanent reconciliation.

Love in the time of texting
Is he into you?
10 benefits of marriage counselling
How to get through a break up
Relationships: say it how you want it
How to tell if someone is lying
He cheated: keep him or dump him?
Let him love you
Love lines: the emotional rollercoaster
Dating after divorce as a single mom
How to stop being taken advantage of
Love Lines: Still sleeping with ex!
Relationships: when to turn a blind eye
Living together: a dry run for marriage?
Love Lines: forbidden Love - the younger man
Pay attention to negative feelings
Stop domestic violence
How to survive long distance
Trusting again after being cheated on
Is three a crowd? Relationships and children
How to find a man who won't cheat
Love Lines: can this marriage be saved?
How to end an emotional affair
Make new friends in 30 minutes
Your relationship after illness
The 10 biggest turn-offs: are you guilty?
Legal implications of living together
Lovelines: emotionally distant husband
Men really ARE from Mars - survey
Dealing with gossip
When your boyfriend's a mommy's boy...
Who gets the friends in a breakup?
Is he the one? Choosing Mr. Right
Losing touch in a technological world
How to make every day Valentine’s Day
Relationships: repeating your mistakes?
Relationships: acknowledging your part
Dr. Demartini on Valentine's Day pressures
What is emotional abuse?
I love to be single
On hooking up with your ex
Flirting’s effect on your body
Should you marry him?
How to compile your family tree
Love Lines: relationship advice for readers
Can men and women be just friends?
The benefits of having male friends
How to become a better listener
Emotional affairs: another form of cheating?
Is it ever ok to be the other woman?
Losing your guy to SuperSport
Dating an older man
Visit Statistics